Sometimes You Just Need To Come To A Stop

There are times when it can all be too much to bear,
You're battered and bruised and broken,
You've come so far but can't take another step,
You finally feel that you've run out of fuel,
You may know what you need to do but can't do it,
Or you may be all out of ideas and completely lost,
Sometimes you just need to come to a stop.

Though you always want to keep moving,
Whether forward or backward or just to the side,
Though it may seem the wrong thing to do,
Your head and heart pleading don't let it happen,
Surely the world will only look down upon you,
And you'll never be able to get going again,
Sometimes you just need to come to a stop.

Take many deep breaths and let it all slide,
Sleep a lot more and stay in bed even longer,
Binge on the couch and let the chores pile up,
Ignore the world as it easily goes on without you,
Put your head and heart in sleep mode like a robot,
No thoughts or feelings or cares in the world,
Sometimes you just need to come to a stop.

Now that you've hibernated you're ready to go,
That little bit of space was all that you needed,
You've recovered enough to keep going again,
Only now are you ready for that new direction,
Get the ball rolling and gain momentum,
It wasn't a waste because it gave you the strength,
First you just simply need to come to a stop.

Grateful To Be Sad

"Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like, a beautiful sadness."

- South Park, "Raisins" 

Leave it to the writers of South Park to have some of the most profound wisdom on sadness. I'm pondering this as I mourn the moving away of some close friends and their four-year-old son, whom I grew very close to over the last three years. It is most definitely an occasion of sadness as they were a bright shining light in my life here in LA.

As I've slowly learned over the years, we must embrace our emotions in order to process them and move forward. Often it's tempting to resist or run away from unpleasant emotions, and I've always been very prone to that. Hell, I didn't have a good cry over my last relationship until a year later when I found out she was in a serious relationship with someone else. But all that does is delay the inevitable and make things worse in the long run. So, I'm doing my best to embrace the sadness and face it head-on.

Being sad is never pleasant, of course, but it is oddly reassuring and life-affirming because you realize you have—or had—something in your life worth being sad over. It's a reminder of what makes life worth living and what is really important. It's painful, draining, and scary, but also wonderful in a way that makes sense while not making sense. If anything is the epitome of yin yang, sadness is it. It is light wrapped in a darkness burrito; the sour cream is definitely sour, yet tasty.

So, to sadness, I raise a glass of refreshing cool Summer Shandy. As counterintuitive as it seems and feels, I am grateful to be sad. 

5 Signs You're a Douchebag "Hiker"

There are only two kinds of hikers: hikers and casual hikers. Last year I graduated from casual hiker to hiker, so I can get all high and mighty and dole out judgment. Both types of hikers are great and hiking is great; everyone should be a hiker! If you find yourself doing any of the things on this list, however, you are neither type of hiker. You're just a douchebag who happens to be hiking.

1) You Don't Bring Water For Your Dog

News flash idiot: dogs need water too! It's unbelievable how many douchebags like you bring water for yourself, yet none for your dog. Are you completely unaware that dogs need hydration, or do you just not care. Either way, you're endangering its life and I want to straight up murder you. And this is coming from a cat guy!

2) You Play Music Out Loud

One of the best things about hiking is getting away from the noise, distraction, and pressure of civilization to enjoy the peace, beauty, and tranquility of nature. When you bring your music, you're ignoring all that. Which, hey, is fine if you bring headphones and keep it yourself; then it's just your loss. You're an idiot but not a douchebag. But when you blast your music out loud for all to hear, you're ruining other people's enjoyment of one of the main attractions of the environment you're all in. You're a selfish piece of shit and I hope you fall off a cliff and die!

3) You Don't Use Your Inside Voice

A lot of people hike solo because they enjoy the quiet reflection or meditation. You fucking ruin that when you're jabbering at maximum volume with your other idiot companions. Look, it's fine to talk on a hike if you have company. Just use your inside voice. Yes, I know we're outside. So why inside voice? Because you're out in the open, dumbass. Your voice carries farther when there are no walls or insulation to dampen it. Whether it's open-air-fully-exposed-in-the-sun or thick forest, your voice is louder here. No one should or wants to hear you from half a mile away. Your companions are standing right next to or behind you. There's absolutely no reason to be loud. So keep it down and then everyone gets what they want. 

4) You Litter, Grafitti, Carve Trees, or Defile Nature In Any Way

This needs no explanation. You're a horrible human being. Just fucking die.

5) You Smoke

Nothing against smoking tobacco or marijuana if that's what you're into. Your life choices, man. Whatevs. But don't you dare bring that shit out into the wild. I guarantee you that you don't know how to properly dispose of it, and even if you do, it's not worth the risk of you accidentally dropping it and starting a raging forest fire. This is double-down-douchebag in California where the drought has the whole place ready to go ablaze. Can you please try and enjoy life for a little bit without having to smoke something?

LA SPECIAL BONUS) You think Runyon Canyon Is Hiking

Look, nothing against Runyon Canyon. I've been there many times back in the day, but never would I dare call it hiking. It's right in the city, you have to fight for your life for parking in WeHo, you're not away from civilization or its noise, there's no nature whatsoever, and you're surrounded by crowds of wannabe actors, models, screenwriters, and directors (with the occasional actual working professional). For fuck's sake, that's not hiking. It can be a great workout (especially if you go the hard route), but it's just not hiking. And if you think it is, you haven't the faintest idea what the hell hiking actually is. Just shut the fuck up.

Happy Birthday America?

I didn't feel particularly patriotic this Independence Day. Of course, I enjoyed hot dogs, queso, guac, potato salad, fruit salad, brownies and more. Of course, I enjoyed the company of friends and strangers. Of course, I enjoyed an excuse to drink alcohol and gorge on added sugar. A holiday is always a time for enjoyment, after all. I just didn't feel any larger sense of purpose or meaningful connection to it. It could have been any random holiday for all I cared. 

Not that I've ever felt flag-waving patriotic; the only time I do any flag waving or shirt wearing is in standing behind our national soccer teams, and that's more about support and pride than patriotism. Still, I do think it's good to have an appreciation for one's country, and at times feel pride when progress happens or when the government does actual good in the world. But I've never been the type to feel patriotic every day, much less every 4th of July.

This Independence Day in particular, though, I didn't feel much pride or appreciation. I felt rather embarrassed of my country, actually, since it's such a hot mess right now. Inequality of all sorts causing injustice, undue hardship, and unnecessary tragedy. Racism, prejudice, and bigotry all too alive and thriving. Narcissism, materialism, and vanity eating away at our well-being and distracting us from the things that matter. Bickering and fighting separating us when we need to be coming together. Fear, anger, hate, and depression more center-stage than calmness, peace, love, and happiness. 

It's a time when we all need to feel hope for the future, but to top it off with a poisoned cherry, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are the presumptive nominees. The only candidates that realistically have a shot at the Presidency...I don't very hopeful with those options. We are at a critical crossroads where we will either revolutionize our country or crumble. Both candidates seem highly destructive and practically guaranteed to ensure our downfall. Sure, one might be better than the other, but only in the sense that cancer is better than AIDS. The future of our country looks grim.

I do still hold out hope that we can change course and create a better government and society, however slowly it happens. But right now I don't feel there's much to appreciate or be proud of as an American. I feel downright embarrassed of America. Although, as we celebrated our independence from the United Kingdom, I did take momentary solace that we haven't screwed up as badly as the UK just did. In leaving the EU, those bloody Brits buggered themselves and really went tits up! But hey, our time may soon come to join them.

Happy Birthday, America?