Gentle Reminders For Election Season

Well, crap. Here we are: another presidential election season. Since we're all deeply flawed human beings, relationships and conversations everywhere are going to get tense, hostile, or downright juvenile. As such, I think we could all—myself included—use some gentle reminders before we open our mouths for the next few months.

• You will never change anyone's mind by yelling, insulting, shaming, or dismissing. In fact, you'll only accomplish the exact opposite: entrenching people further and firmer in their current stances. And they'll just think you're an asshole because, at that moment, you really are being one.
   
• Even calm, rational, and respectful conversation is unlikely to change anyone's mind. The psychological barriers are pretty high and steep, especially the longer a belief has been held. We are all pretty bad at changing our beliefs, so never expect a miracle.
  
  
• People can sense when your motive is to change their mind and it will always be resented. You stand a better chance if you go into a conversation with an open mind and the intention of sharing your thoughts and feelings along with an equal curiosity to learn theirs. Yes, ironically, you're more likely to change someone's mind if you're not trying to change their mind.
  
  
• Everyone, and I mean everyone, is kind of stupid because our brains are seriously flawed. Our idiot brains are prone to all sorts of illusions, fallacies, and prejudices. No one is exempt, no matter how smart you are or how refined your critical thinking. Seriously, read this book and have your mind blown.
  
  
• Most people really do have their hearts in the right place, want the world to be a better place, and are doing the best that they know how. Sure, there are some destructive beliefs out there spawning from anger, prejudice, or indoctrination, but at the heart of all that really just lies vulnerability and fear. We'll all get along a lot better and be able to have civil discourse if we approach each other with compassion and understanding for what actually lies beneath all the crap.
  
  
• Whenever you're stewing about how the other side is just so dead wrong, so misguided, so stupid, so evil, or so whatever, remember that the other side thinks the same thing about you.
  
  
• The firmer your belief and the more assured you are of it means the more important it is for you to question that belief. A lot of our beliefs are not based on solid logic and critical thinking because, as we've just been reminded, our brains are stupid. We all think we know why we believe what we do, but we really don't. We all think all our beliefs were forged out of long, careful, deep thought, but a lot of them really weren't. Again, read this book and have your mind blown.
  
  
• There is a staggering amount of misinformation out there: fake news stories, perpetuated myths, old wives tales, falsified studies, misquotations, things taken out of context, and outright lies. Question every story, article, opinion, or fact, whether it supports your belief or not. In fact, question the ones that support your beliefs even more than the ones that oppose your beliefs. Your brain is prone to confirmation bias: you are more ready to believe things that support what you already believe and the story you've constructed for yourself than things that oppose that. Have I told you to read this book yet?
  
  
• One huge problem with our brains is that the more we hear something, the more our brain just assumes it's true, even if it's false or a lie. Be on your guard and question everything. Do your homework to make sure something is actually true before you contribute to the propagation of false information. And please, read this book!
  
  
• Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but opinions aren't facts and opinions don't change facts. Yes, it's okay to question if a fact is indeed a fact, but we must accept that a fact is a fact once it's proven, even if it's sometimes a tough pill to swallow.
  
  
• Anyone can drum up a source or "expert" to oppose a proven fact. Just because one hired shill says something is false doesn't make it so, especially when the 99 other experts are all in agreement. Remember, lots of lies and misinformation out there. If it flies in the face of common sense, rationality, and general consensus, it's probably bullcrap.
  
  
• Sometimes facts change with new information and discoveries, but that doesn't mean we can just dismiss any fact that doesn't fit our story. Just accept the current facts and we can all update together when necessary.
  
  
• Thankfully, we have a system of checks and balances, so no matter who is elected, the Apocalypse is probably not going to happen and things probably won't be anywhere near as bad as we think they'll be.