Everyone's A Little Bit Hipster

On Sunday, I sat down for a double feature of Seven Samurai, one of my favorite films of all time, and the original The Magnificent Seven, which I had never seen. Mostly, it was because it had been awhile since I'd seen 7S and it's an itch I occasionally need to scratch, and I was really curious about M7. 

But, it was also because the trailer for the new one looked terrible, and screw Hollywood for remaking a classic instead of coming up with something original. And because the original M7 was already a filthy American remake of the clearly superior Japanese film, even though I hadn't seen the original M7 yet. And because I already adored and had seen 7S loads of times before Chris Pratt thought it was cool!

This meme...such dankness! 

And then it hit me, the dark truth I didn't want to admit to myself and had long been in denial of: holy...fucking...shit...I'm a little bit hipster. Despite all my ranting and railing against hipsters, I'm a little bit hipster too. And then it hit me even harder: I've spent so many years feeling smug about how hipsters are inferior to the rest us, THAT doubly makes me a hipster. God damn't. And thus, a mini emotional crisis briefly raged.

Thankfully, just as quickly as it struck, it faded away as I came to the comforting realization that it's not just me. Everyone's a little bit hipster sometimes. We all have hobbies, thoughts, and possessions we feel a little smug about. We all have things that make us think we're better than the masses. We all think to ourselves we were into something before it was cool or get bitter and frustrated over something we aren't into being so damn popular. We all want to rebel against popularity and conformity. Let's face it: we're all a little bit hipster.

Now, that doesn't mean we shouldn't still mock hipsters. We absofuckinglutely should. They're smug, snotty bastards that have designed their entire lives around being unique non-conformists, despite the fact they all wear the same god damn uniform, are into the same god damn things, and follow the same god damn trends. They ironically think they're setting trends and discovering cool things, despite the fact that everything they're into is retro stuff their parents and grandparents were into before they thought it was cool. They're just as conformist and unoriginal as the rest of us, just extra obnoxious and oblivious about it. 

Of course, they'll ask, "why should you care?" Simple: because they're dicks about it, thinking and acting as if they're cooler, more enlightened, or superior to other people. That sentiment might be mild or extreme, they might be so self-unaware and deluded they can't see it, but it's sure as shit always there. It might seem harmless, but it really isn't. It's a nasty sentiment that rubs people the wrong way, making them feel bad about themselves, and in one's self, it fosters destructive, narcissistic, and close-minded thinking. It needs to be stamped out of people. Continuing to mock hipsters reinforces the shame and disapproval we feel of ourselves when we realize we're a little bit hipster. That's a good thing. We all need the hipster knocked out of us.

So continue the good fight against hipsters. Keep making fun of them for being obnoxious pieces of shit. But remember, sometimes, so are you. You're a little bit hipster too, so continue the good fight against yourself. 

And seriously, watch Seven Samurai. Heck, watch the original The Magnificent Seven too, though it's not as subtle and poignant as Seven Samurai. And I'm totally not just saying that because it was first and I saw it first, it just really is true. M7 is watered down and 7S is clearly better...oh god damn't, I'm doing it again. Get out of me, you damned dirty hipster! The power of Christ compels you!!!