It's that time of year again: leaves changing color and then falling, costumes and trick or treating, turkey and pumpkin pie, beautiful white powder delicately decorating the land, spiced lattes, Uggs on seemingly every female pair of feet...it's fall and soon to be winter! Well, in some parts of the country at least. Some places have real fall and winter, and other places (*cough* Southern California) just don't. In other places, the temperature drops 10°, the trees kinda sorta die, the grass defiantly gives winter the middle finger and keeps on living, but everyone acts like winter has finally come to Westeros, complete with White Walkers fucking shit up.
That means it's the time of year for the clearly superior race of humans that live in real cold climates to mock and be hostile towards the clearly inferior race of wimpy humans that don't know what real cold is. Now, there are those that think 60° is legitimately freezing and fear they will actually turn into a popsicle (usually wearing Uggs). Those people really are stupid and should probably be mocked (especially if they're wearing Uggs). And I understand the eye rolling at people who complain about how cold it is when it's so nice they could be playing beach volleyball while you are snowed in or dodging icicles of death. I get it; as an Angelino, I have to seriously restrain myself from yelling "you don't even know what real traffic is" whenever Texans complain about traffic on Facebook. But I try to restrain myself (key word is "try") because I don't want to be that asshole. It's rude an obnoxious. So resist going all Bane with your "you merely adopted the cold, I was born into it, molded by it, blah blah blah" nonsense in that annoying high-pitched voice that was an unbelievably idiotic "character choice."
Regardless, this isn't really what I'm talking about. This is more about being dicks when people are excited about what passes as our pathetic excuses for fall and winter. Look, we're not stupid; we know it's not that cold. Most of us have lived in or visited a truly cold place before. We know we don't have real seasons. We know that you have to deal with real cold and crazy road conditions. We know that you have it worse than us. We know, we know, WE KNOW! So what's up with us? We just want to be a part of the action. We just want a little taste. We want to pretend that we have seasons because seasons are awesome! It is genuinely disappointing and a little bit depressing to not have them.
Seasons bring a change of pace to life and keep it moving forward. Seasons keep life from feeling too stagnant or stale. They also bring new joys and adventures. The leaves turning red and orange bring excited tidings of Halloween costumes and candy. The chill winds carry a whiff of Turkey, pumpkin pie, and family/friend bonding over Thanksgiving. The first signs of snow remind us the merry holiday is coming to town. There are all the awesome fall and winter adventures: apple picking, dangerously rocketing down snowy slopes on shoddy sleds or inner-tubes, making snow angels, pushing people in leaf piles and laughing maniacally, etc. Seasons bring so many wonderful things that it sucks when you don't get that. It sucks when you have to see people's photos amongst the gorgeous red and orange leaves. It sucks when you when you see status updates about frolicking in the snow and you can't even remember the last time you saw snow with your own eyes. Even chores, like raking leaves and plowing snow, that are mundane and obnoxious to you seem charming to us. It's not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but it all just kinda sucks a bit. It's no wonder Westeros is such a fucked up place full of fucked up people: their seasons last 10 crazy ass years!
And yes, we know that living in our climate has its advantages. Not having to worry about ever being snowed in, being able to play outdoors any day of the year, not having to worry about scary road conditions, etc. Yes, we have many awesome advantages and we appreciate them. We really do. But that also means there are disadvantages, and it's hard not to be jealous or forlorn when we see what we don't have shoved in our face all the time via social media.
Deep down, we know it's not cold and that we don't really have fall or winter. It's a little sad and disappointing every single year. So when we pretend that's it cold, we know better. We just desperately want it to be fall and winter so we can join in the fun. So don't be that guy; don't be an asshole. Just shut up and let us into your party. Don't be the schoolyard bully that mocks the weird kid and makes him go home crying. Be the cool kid that invites that weird kid to join your game and makes him feel welcome. Let us have our pumpkin and peppermint dreams!
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