Emotions are intense for all Americans right now. Whatever side you stand on, whether you're happy or upset, we're all having some pretty strong feelings. Whatever you're feeling, you have a right to feel that way. It's okay, and don't let anyone tell you that shouldn't feel like that.
That being said, I beg us all to take a deep breath, remain calm, take a step back and get some perspective. Whatever side you're on, things are about to get messy. Vitriol between sides and within ranks is inevitable at this point, because we're human, and being human means being messy. We're fallible and eager to blame others for all our problems. And sadly, there's going to be a lot of blaming going on.
A lot of poor, negative behavior is about to happen on both sides as we all give into our negative emotions: anger, fear, and sadness. As a result, both sides will subject each other to hate, bigotry, prejudice, assumption, stereotyping, and blame. Because it's the easy thing to do. It's the human thing to do.
But if want a better world, we have to fight back real hard against own terrible desires. Meeting hate with hate, anger with anger, blame with blame, or assumption with assumption only begets more hate, anger, blame, and assumption. If we want to make things better, we have to meet negative emotions and behavior with positive emotions and behavior: love, compassion, and understanding. That is the only way to disarm negativity, heal our wounds, and bridge the divide.
And this isn't just some hippie-dippie, kumbaya, unrealistic and naive nonsense; it's a valid strategy and principle of psychological science. It's called non-complimentary behavior. Complimentary behavior is what usually happens. If someone is kind to us, we're kind in return. If someone is hostile to us, we're hostile in return. We typically mirror the behavior and actions of others when we react, not necessarily exactly but in the general categories of positivity and negativity. We do it because it's easy. That's why violence usually leads to more violence, and hate leads to more hate. It's just how we're wired. It's the path of least resistance within ourselves.
However, there is a way out, though it's not easy: non-complimentary behavior. This is what Martin Luther King Jr. advocated for. When met with negativity, respond with positivity instead. Meet hate with love, anger with compassion, and assumption, prejudice, or stereotyping with a genuine quest for understanding. Responding with non-complimentary behavior has the power to disarm and break the cycle of negativity. It's not guaranteed to always work, but more often than not, it surprisingly does work. At the very least, it stops people in their tracks and gives them food for thought. After that, it's up to them. We can't control others or force them to change. But we can respond in the way that encourages positivity and sets up the stage with the best circumstances for that to happen.
It's not going to immediately bring everyone to a love-fest of peace and unity, but it'll help pave the way. If we can resist the urge to respond to negativity with more negativity, we stand a chance of opening up a dialogue. And if we enter that dialogue genuinely giving out love, compassion, and understanding, we just might get it back in return.
It's not going to be easy. Far from it, and I'm going to struggle with it as much as anybody else. But it is possible, and it has been done before. Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Nelson Mandella, and many others have proven that wonderful things can and will happen if we resist our natural urges to respond back in unkind, and instead respond with kindness. Love, compassion, and understanding are critical. Please, let's all give it our best shot. We will falter along the way. Nobody's perfect, after all. But we can pick ourselves back up and try again. And again. And again. For as long as it takes.
Thanks for listening. I love you all.
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