It's Thanksgiving week, which means it's time to reflect and consider what we're grateful for. Well, every day is an opportunity for that and it's incredibly healthy to do so, but Thanksgiving, in particular, is a time for deeper than usual reflection. I've done my meditative pondering and soul searching, and come to realize what I am truly and deeply grateful for this Thanksgiving: that I don't die in a horrible car wreck every single time it rains in LA.
Anytime it rains in LA, the roads become a massive death trap. I'm not making this up, either. It rained this past weekend and the number of freeway accidents shot up 570% compared to the previous week. For some reason, even though it rains consistently every year in LA (if seldom), a lot of people still don't know how to drive in the rain. Instead, it exacerbates their normal, and often horrible, style of driving.
Aggressive drivers get extra aggravated by the rain slowing other drivers down or causing wrecks that bring everything to halt, and consequently drive even more aggressively. They drive even faster, cut in and out at even closer and more dangerous distances, and wait even longer to break, seemingly unaware that hydroplaning exists and is a thing that most definitely always happens in the rain. They seem to believe the rain has no effects on driving and that it must be a liberal conspiracy, and because everyone else foolishly believes it, they must compensate by being even bigger threats.
On the other side of the rainbow, timid drivers get scared so much more than usual, to the point of sheer terror and panic attacks, and therefore drive doubly, triply, or sweet biscuity timidly. Normally, they'd drive 5 or 10 MPH under the speed limit, but now they'll literally go half the speed limit, as if going any faster means the water will hurl them at light speed into the nearest deadly object. To make matters worse, the ones that are both scared and have designated themselves the safety officers of the road, will not respectfully keep to the far right lane. Oh no, they'll take it upon themselves to control everyone else and stick to the fast lanes, communicating with each other over some secret network so that they can coordinate to spread themselves out evenly throughout the lanes, resulting in total slowpoke domination of the entire road. They just go full-tilt You-Shall-Not-Pass Gandalf on us all!
The real kicker is the road conditions also mean the effects of their driving on each other are amplified to the max. The fraidy cat drivers piss off the aggressive drivers even more than usual, so the aggressive drivers then drive progressively worse and worse. The increased aggression scares the fraidy cats even more, so they, in turn, drive even slower. It creates a vicious feedback loop that just keeps intensifying exponentially until it all comes to a head...or sideswipe, or rear end...you get the idea.
Meanwhile, us competent, calm, safe drivers smartly adjust to the conditions and compensate for hydroplaning. We know we need more time to break and give ourselves more room. We know we can't change lanes or turn too suddenly or we'll lose traction, so we slow down but only as much as necessary. We know the angry and the timid are both a huge danger, so we keep our distance and give them as much breathing room as possible.
However, we are also susceptible to their negative influence. We can become so frustrated, fatigued, or furious with their crappy driving that we can be pushed to either side of the horrible driver spectrum, lashing out in righteous anger or shrinking back in utter fear into our own turtle shell. The rain has the power to claim even the best of us. We have to maintain constant vigilance in the fight for our soul.
Rain in LA means only one thing on the road: total Mad Max style chaos. It's a dangerous, hostile, unpredictable hellhole. Anytime you have to go out and drive in the LA rain, it's a miracle to make it back alive and in one piece. I'm lucky to have experienced many miracles, every single time. That's what I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving. Now, let's all eat some turkey and way too many carbs!
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