Follow your heart.
Do what feels right.
Listen to your gut.
How often have we heard or been told some variation on this? If I had a nickel for every time, I'd probably have enough money to at least buy the entire Planet of the Apes saga on Blu-ray. Those damned dirty apes! Anyway, follow your heart seems to be the most ubiquitous adage in modern civilization, and that's a shame, because it's terrible advice.
Zack Morris time out! Before you change channels or throw tomatoes at me, which I know most of you want to do, let's just go right into an example before philosophical rumination and explanation. Time in!
You know what my heart is saying right now? "Hey Kevin, you miss your ex. You still love her. You should get back together." My heart is stupid. Our relationship was toxic and volatile; we were horrible together. It brought out the worst in us instead of the best, made us both miserable, and left my self-esteem in tatters. Wanting to be with that person again is completely insane. If that's my heart is telling me, clearly it can't be trusted in this matter.
Not that I shouldn't ever listen to my heart. The problem is that the heart is only part of the equation. If we only listen to our heart, often it will lead to disaster. Sometimes, our heart wants what isn't good for us. The heart needs to be paired with our brain because our brain can stop us from doing something incredibly stupid.
Now, another Zack Morris timeout to clarify what we're talking about here. We're not talking literally about the heart as a separate entity. The heart is just a metaphor for our emotions, morality, memories, and instincts. These are all part of the brain; that's where all the action goes down. But when we refer to our brain, we're only referring to the non-emotional parts: logic, critical thinking, and knowledge. So it's all about the brain, just different aspects. Time in!
Logic, critical thinking, and knowledge help us make better decisions. Right now, my brain is arguing with my heart about that ex situation. It's talked me out of doing anything stupid and is currently whipping my heart to motivate it to let go and move on. Though sometimes it ends up whipping itself like young Indiana Jones, but that's neither here nor there.
This cuts both ways. If didn't listen to our heart at all, and only listened to our brain, we would also do things that end up causing emotional pain and distress. Our heart is a big part of who we are. The cold logic of the brain doesn't really understand the heart and therefore can't really make informed decisions about it without consulting it.
The brain and the heart are a partnership; they need it each other. In fact, together they can make a great team if cooperating in harmony: wisdom. Knowledge, logic, and critical thinking are great, but they can't become wisdom without emotional experience. Wisdom trumps everything because it's the whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. It's what we need to make beneficial decisions.
Wisdom prevents us from making the same mistakes again and again, which our stupid hearts would do if it weren't for the brain. Wisdom helps us pursue paths and goals that are good for us emotionally, which the brain couldn't do on its own either. Wisdom is our proper guide, and needs both the brain and heart to gain experience in order to get better. It takes the best of both and balances them out so that all prosper as one.
So, we really need to stop with the "listen to your heart, gut, or instinct" advice because it's incomplete. It's only part of the equation, like "E" in "E=mc²." On its own, "E" means nothing; it's just nonsense. We shouldn't say "follow your brain" either, as that's only the "mc²" part of the equation. What am I going to do with an "mc²?" Nothing. We need both to understand the equation.
Instead, we should be saying, "Follow your wisdom." Wisdom is the whole equation: W=B+H. Wisdom is the brain and the heart, together as one. Listen to them both. Let them talk to each other. Let them help each other. Then, follow your wisdom.
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