How Could Disney Drop The Ball On Blu-Rey???

Thanks internet, for pickup up Disney's slack.

You've got to be kidding me, Disney. Blu-Ray. Blu-Rey. Rey even wields a blue lightsaber. It's perfect and it's so easy. It's right there, just begging to be used. I'm certainly not the only one to have thought of it; plenty have tweeted #blurey or shared photoshopped blue Reys. It must be noted, however, that I did think it up all on my own because, let's face it, if there's an eye-roll inducing dad-joke pun to be made, you can always count on me. This is certainly one of those. Even toddlers have probably made up Blu-Rey jokes.

So how in Yoda's name could this have slipped by you, Disney? Did you not think of it, or did you decide not to use it? Either way, you're more stupid than the prequels. Okay...maybe not that stupid, but at least as stupid as Greedo for letting Han shoot first. Now, I realize you legally have to print the trademarked Blu-Ray logo on all media, but that doesn't mean you can't also slip in Blu-Rey somewhere. For Vader's sake, you could at least tweet it or facebook it. If Sony stopped you from doing that, then get Luke or Lando to blow up their headquarters because they're surely operating a Death Star.

But if Sony is not responsible for this travesty, then whoever at Disney is needs to be fired immediately. They clearly suck at their job and have let the entire galaxy down. This can not go unpunished. You need to throw a Kylo Ren temper tantrum. Unleash the emo: obliterate a room with your lightsaber and force choke some disposable employees.

Come on, Disney. How hard was this?

What reason could you possibly have? Was your marketing team butthurt that the internet thought of it first? If so, toss those cry-babies into a Sarlaac pit and get some grown-ass bounty hunters on your team. Was it just too easy? There's nothing wrong with making the easy obvious joke. Marketing teams have us gagging all the time, more than Jabba on his death bed, so that's no excuse. Or did you just not like it? Was it too dad-jokey for you? If so, you have even worse judgement than Darth Vader: the man who murdered a bunch of children and all his colleagues, just because he had a bad dream his lover would die and a creepy old man, who clearly wanted to bone him, told him he could stop death if he became his murderous psychopathic apprentice. 

Don't be like that, Disney. You don't want to be compared to the main character from a trilogy all your sane fans have disowned and still pretend doesn't exist, and that ruined the life of its child actor. You're better than that. I know you are. So come on, it's not too late to jump on the Blu-Rey bandwagon. It's never too late to leave the dark side and come back to the light. It's okay, you can do it. There's good in you; I feel it. I believe in you. I promise I'll make sure your helmet doesn't end up in the hands of your whiny grandson. So come on. Come back to us. Throw the Emperor into that pretty rad-looking abyss. 

Happy Blu-Rey Day, and may the force be with you!